January 2012
1 tag
What the fuck?
John Nolan wrote Magazines???
1 tag
1 tag
December 2011
I just met vin as he was walking through the casino
3 tags
Who am I making out with at midnight during the Brand New show tonight?
3 tags
1 tag
Friend: I'm tired of this state and everybody in it!
Me: What's stopping you from moving somewhere else?
Friend: Parole
I'd rather have people know that I'm a douchebag...
tommyxvx:
This is you trying hard to make sure...
New Year's Eve 2008: This was the worst year ever, I hope 2009 is better
New Year's Eve 2009: This was the worst year ever, I hope 2010 is better
New Year's Eve 2010: This was the worst year ever, I hope 2011 is better
New Year's Eve 2011: I'm at Brand New....fuck all of you.
Got a papercut from a $10 bill
First world problems
I wish this weekend never happened. I wish somebody would have punched me in the face and told me not to go over there. I wish I was dead.
I think I'm going to be straightedge
That’s my new years resolution.
You're as cuddly as a cactus
You’re as charming as an eel.
Think the human race is ready to find out aliens...
Drop a spider onto an unsuspecting person’s lap. Now multiply that times 7 billion.
The difference between who's and whose:
Who’s Peter?: something you might say at a party.
Whose peter?: something you might say at an orgy.
l-o-v-e-s-a-r-i-s-k:
You’re a mean one, Mr....
ohsierra:
The Smiths - There is a Light That...
Friend zone:
Something that I managed to get out of for the first time in my life. BAZINGA!!!!
5 tags
Tonight
I’m cooking creamy chicken herb angel hair pasta. People might die.
Nowadays, there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year’s resolution.
جمهوری در ارتباط با خشونت درایران سخن می گوید
Never hit a man with glasses.
Hit him with a baseball bat.
when life hands you: high fructose corn syrup,...
Make some lemonade
1 tag
do you guys remember
when the original name for “Daisy” was supposed to be “And One Head Can Never Die.”
I'm at that point
Where I have no idea if I’m digging myself deeper into friend zone or slowly crawling my way out. Grrrrrrrr!!!
So to hell with holiday romantics
December is for cynics!
4 tags
Bad Books - Texas